While the country has been placed on halt to deal with the deadly Corona Virus, it has also been ambushed by the horrific killings of women by their partners. There are men who are also puzzled by what is happening and are doing something to put an end to it. Listen to the story of a man who is appealing to men to stop killing their women by creating a movement called ‘PLEASE DONT KILL HER’.
HARROWING TALE OF JEALOUSY AND DEATH
Once again femicide is rearing its ugly head in my country and as a man I felt obligated to do something about it. As a result in 2012, I wrote a book titled My True Confessions while in prison with the intentions of using it as awareness against femicide.
The book is about myself of course , by the way, I am a former Cape Town newspaper editor who murdered his former fiancée in a jealous rage by stabbing her several times before swallowing rat poison in an effort to end own life. The book is a blow-by-blow account of the years leading up to the murder of a woman I professed to love intensely and how my obsession with her led me to killing her after she ended our love union.After being released in prison in the year 2015, I embarked on a series of motivational talks in schools, churches and even going as far as revisiting what was once my home for years, the correctional centres to address inmates to put an end on the catalytic killings of women. In the talks I have shed with them, I have been vocal about the behaviour of men, the mannerism, the disrespect, the ill discipline, anger directed at women.
Below is freestyle of what happened on the night we spent together before her eternally sleep. More details are on the book.
While we were lying down cosy with one another embracing the love songs that were played by our heartbeats which were align with one another, in the moment, promising each other the sun, the moon, the stars, basically the world forgetting that there are other people occupying it as well.
She mysteriously took off my shirt, untied my belt, and magically pulled down my underwear because already my mind was in ICU in need of ventilators to breathe because that’s how close I was to reaching cloud 9, talk about heavenly made hands. I was a bit shy because in my past experience I had never been stripped by a woman, but hey, if this is what heaven feels like, I wanted to die at that moment, anyway I played along. What followed is history. As nature would have it, shortly after the act, we both cuddled in spoon and fell asleep. We slept together until sunrise.
That was the beginning of our downward drift in terms of my Christian ethics and morals. Eventually, whenever we were together we focused on sex so much that we abandoned our Christian morals totally. The irony of our state of affairs was that while we were profoundly occupied with sexual tricks on the one hand, we were publicly sincerely engaged in church programs. I was a youth leader, a church board member and a preacher. Every time I preached she would sit in the front so that I could see her. I would look at her and my psyche would swiftly go back to our private sexual behaviour. After the service she would come to me and say, “My baby you preached extremely well, while listening and looking at you, I got so wet.” After sunset, we would go and engage in the forbidden world for the unmarried.
I must admit that sex became a controlling factor in our relationship. Because of the feeling I was experiencing every time we were doing the deed, I wanted to get married to her as quickly as possible and in due course I totally lost sight of the other characteristics of a pleasant relationship. As a result, my impulsiveness led me to the unthinkable robust action which eventually made me cut her life short, an action I regret to this day, and I wonder if I will ever get over it.As I reflect, I often come to one conclusion. My spiritual life was a smokescreen. “Why?” Someone may ask. I knew very well that I lived a lie. I pretended that God was using me, but in my heart of hearts, I knew that God was far away from me and my thoughts.
More correctly, I was far away from Him. Yes, I preached and participated in all the church services for the Lord, but my private life showed that I did not respect the Lord of those services. On the one hand, I knew that I lived in an adulterous relationship, yet on the other hand, I was praising God and pretending to be holy. The truth be told, I was far from being holy.I have started a new movement called PLEASE DONT KILL HER because I want to give every troubled man a platform before he kills his girlfriend or wife.
